Kai Velmer of United Soccer Association On Five Things You Need To Be A Highly Effective Leader During Uncertain & Turbulent Times

Leadership, especially in youth sports, can be challenging because you often spend 99% of your time dealing with problems, conflict, and criticism rather than receiving positive feedback.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’ and how you got started?

Over the past 15 years I’ve also worn a lot of professional hats: FYSA President, Director of Coaching, Director of Operations, a WPSL General Manager, time with the Tampa Bay Sports Commission, US Men’s National Team Liaison during the 2011 Gold Cup, and several years with the Tampa Bay Rowdies. But none of those titles taught me as much as simply having lived this game from every seat, as a player, a coach, and a dad. I played the game myself growing up, so I know firsthand what it feels like to be the kid on the field waiting for a coach’s word or a parent’s reaction after a tough loss. I’ve coached for years, including as an assistant and goalkeeper trainer at the University of Tampa, so I’ve stood on the sideline and felt the responsibility of another family’s child being in my hands for a season. And I’m a father, so I also know what it’s like to sit in the stands and just want my own kid to have a good, safe, fair experience. That’s really what brought me to United Soccer Association. We’re the longest running organized soccer league in the Tampa Bay area, founded in 1990, and this role felt like a natural place to put all three of those perspectives to work at once.

It has been said that our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

Yes, there is one mistake that immediately comes to mind. It happened very early in my career, probably 15–17 years ago. I was young, excited, and moving at 100 miles an hour. I had identified someone I believed was the perfect fit for a leadership position within our organization. I was so enthusiastic about the opportunity and what it could mean for the program that I went ahead and announced the promotion to the board before I had even spoken with the individual. In my mind, there was no doubt they would be excited. To my surprise, when I finally had the conversation, they thanked me for the confidence and the gesture but politely declined. They were happy in their current role, had no desire to take on additional responsibilities, and had no plans to pursue a leadership position. Looking back, it was both humbling and a little funny. I had spent so much time thinking about what was best for the organization that I forgot to take the most important step — asking the person what was best for them. The lesson I learned is one that has stayed with me throughout my career: never make assumptions, no matter how positive your intentions may be. Leadership isn’t about deciding what’s best for people; it’s about listening, communicating, and understanding their goals before making decisions. Since then, I’ve made it a priority to have conversations first and announcements second. Sometimes the most valuable lessons come from slowing down and making sure everyone is part of the process.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?

This is actually a difficult question for me because there isn’t just one person I can point to. I’ve been fortunate to have many people help, guide, and believe in me throughout my life and career. The truth is that I wouldn’t be where I am today without all of them. If I had to highlight two individuals, the first would be my brother, Mike. He was my very first coach and the person who introduced me to coaching. He sparked my passion for working with players and helping them develop, and without his influence, I probably wouldn’t be in youth soccer today. The second person is my first mentor outside of my family, Jim Harte. Jim was one of the first people who truly believed in me and invested in my potential. Early in my coaching career, he gave me opportunities that many young coaches would never have received. One example that stands out is when he made it possible for me, at just 23 years old, to travel to Columbus, Ohio, to earn my Goalkeeper Trainer Diploma. At the time, that was a tremendous opportunity and a real vote of confidence in me. More importantly, he taught me lessons about leadership, professionalism, and serving others that I still carry with me today. While Mike and Jim played incredibly important roles in my journey, I almost feel this question is unfair because there are so many others I would love to recognize. Every coach, mentor, colleague, player, and family member who encouraged me, challenged me, or believed in me helped shape the person and leader I am today. I’ve learned that success is never a solo achievement, it is built on the support, guidance, and encouragement of countless people along the way.

Extensive research suggests that “purpose-driven businesses” are more successful in many areas. When your organization started, what was its vision, what was its purpose?

Our goal was never to help develop the next college or professional athlete. The goal was just to provide an organized schedule for local teams in our area to have an organized season of play.

Can you share with our readers a story from your own experience about how you lead your team during uncertain or difficult times?

One of the clearest examples is simply the evolution of the league itself. USA started as an entirely volunteer run organization, and over the years we’ve had to shift to a model with a volunteer board plus paid staff, an executive director, an operations manager, administrators, a referee liaison, a webmaster, just to keep pace with what clubs and families need today. That’s not a small change to lead a group through, and I felt it as both an administrator and a parent watching other families go through the same transition. Volunteers built this league out of love for the game, and asking that structure to evolve without losing the culture that made it special takes a lot of communication and trust. The way we got through it was leaning hard into relationships with our member clubs, being transparent about why the change was necessary, and reminding everyone, staff and volunteers alike, that the mission hadn’t changed, only the structure supporting it. That professionalization was what allowed us to keep the league sustainable and keep the door open for more players, coaches, and referees rather than fewer.

Did you ever consider giving up? Where did you get the motivation to continue through your challenges? What sustains your drive?

Absolutely. There were several points in my career when I seriously considered walking away from youth soccer. Over the years, I watched the youth soccer landscape evolve into a much bigger business, and at times it felt like it was drifting away from the values that originally drew me to the game. Leadership, especially in youth sports, can be challenging because you often spend 99% of your time dealing with problems, conflict, and criticism rather than receiving positive feedback. It can be emotionally draining. My greatest challenges, however, came away from the soccer field. My parents moved in with me after my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, and I helped care for him during the last two years of his life. During that same period, I also went through a divorce. Those experiences changed my perspective on life entirely. They taught me what truly matters, how fragile time is, and how important it is to focus your energy on making a meaningful difference. At one point, I was ready to leave the industry altogether. I was exploring entirely different career paths, including real estate and insurance, because I simply felt burned out. Then the opportunity to become Executive Director of the USA League came along. It re-energized me and reminded me why I fell in love with youth sports in the first place. What sustains my drive today is impact. Through initiatives like the partnership between the USA League and the Tampa Bay Rowdies, we are creating opportunities for young players and families who might not otherwise have access to the game. I believe strongly in inclusion, accessibility, and providing pathways for every child, regardless of their background or circumstances. Seeing kids develop confidence, build friendships, and discover a love for soccer is incredibly rewarding. At the end of the day, it’s not about wins, losses, or business growth. It’s about having a positive impact on young people and helping grow the game in the right way. That’s what keeps me motivated and gives purpose to the work I do every day.

What would you say is the most critical role of a leader during challenging times?

Staying steady and staying clear. Clubs and coaches are looking to the league office to know how to interpret a hard moment, so if we’re scattered, that uncertainty just cascades downstream to players and families. The most important thing I can do is make decisions based on the mission, not the noise, and communicate them plainly. As a coach, I try to lead the league the same way I’d want a coach to lead my own kid’s team, with a calm hand and a clear reason behind every call.

When the future seems so uncertain, what is the best way to boost morale? What can a leader do to inspire, motivate and engage their team?

Bring it back to purpose. It’s easy for a team to get worn down by logistics, scheduling, fields, budgets, but when you remind people that the real output of their work is a kid having a positive, safe, competitive experience in a sport they love, that reframes almost everything. I think about it the way I think about a locker room at halftime. You don’t win people back with a lecture, you win them back by reminding them why they’re on the field in the first place. I also point to the bigger picture: every game we run creates opportunity, not just for the player, but for the coach developing their craft and the referee building a career in the sport. Being reachable when something goes wrong goes a long way toward morale, because people can see that leadership isn’t hiding from the hard parts.

What is the best way to communicate difficult news to one’s team and customers?

Directly, and as early as possible. Clubs and families don’t need every decision to be perfect, but they do need to trust that they’re getting the full picture. As a parent, I know how it feels to be on the receiving end of vague or late communication from an organization your kid is part of, and I never want our clubs or families to feel that way. I’d rather over communicate a difficult decision with the reasoning behind it than let rumors or half information fill the gap.

How can a leader make plans when the future is so unpredictable?

You build in flexibility rather than trying to predict everything perfectly. We plan our season structure, but we also stay closely connected to our member clubs so we can adjust based on what they’re actually experiencing on the ground. Being sanctioned and governed by FYSA, and sitting under US Youth Soccer and U.S. Soccer, also gives us a stable framework to plan within, even when other things are shifting. That stability is part of what makes the league sustainable enough to keep expanding access for players, coaches, and referees year after year, which matters to me both professionally and as a dad who wants that same stability for his own family.

Is there a “number one principle” that can help guide a company through the ups and downs of turbulent times?

We’re an inclusive, team vs team league for clubs that want competitive soccer without cross state travel demands or elite level costs. Whenever things get uncertain, that clarity about who we are and who we serve is what keeps us from making reactive decisions we’d regret, and it’s what keeps the door open to more players, coaches, and referees.

Can you share 3 or 4 of the most common mistakes you have seen other businesses make during difficult times? What should one keep in mind to avoid that?

First, trying to be all things to all people the moment pressure hits, chasing every opportunity instead of protecting your core identity. Second, going quiet with the people you serve instead of communicating more. Silence during uncertainty almost always erodes trust faster than bad news does. Third, forgetting the people doing the actual day to day work, treating staff and volunteers as expendable rather than as the reason the organization is standing at all. And fourth, making top down decisions about how your clients, in our case, clubs, should operate, instead of trusting them to know their own community best. As someone who has been a player, a coach, and a soccer parent, I’ve felt the effects of all four of those mistakes from the other side of the table, which is exactly why we guard against them by over communicating, valuing our people, and trusting our clubs.

Based on your experience and success, what are the five most important things a business leader should do to lead effectively during uncertain and turbulent times? Please share a story or an example for each.

1. Know your lane and protect it. USA isn’t trying to compete with national elite platforms. We’re a regional league for clubs and families who want organized, competitive soccer without the travel and cost burden. That clarity has let us make consistent decisions for over three decades, including through the shift from an all volunteer model to one with paid staff, and it’s kept the league financially sustainable for the long haul.

2. Stay inclusive rather than exclusive. When times get hard, it’s tempting to narrow your focus to your biggest or easiest partners. We’ve done the opposite, welcoming clubs of every size, from Division 3 to Premier, U8 through U19. As a former player myself, I know what it means to have a place to play regardless of your skill level, and that openness is what I love most about this league. It’s also what’s kept our membership strong across changing seasons.

3. Build real partnerships, not just transactions. Our relationships with the Tampa Bay Rowdies and title sponsor CHARLY have let us create coaching education grants that reduce the cost of licensing for our member clubs, plus a girls college and pro ID camp. As a coach, that one means a lot to me personally, because it directly expands opportunities for coaches who want to grow, not just for players.

4. Communicate constantly with the people you serve. Whether it’s a club president or a parent, people forgive a hard decision far more easily than they forgive being kept in the dark. Speaking as a father, that trust is exactly what I look for from any organization my own kid is part of, and it’s what keeps clubs, coaches, and referees invested in the league for years, not just a season.

5. Keep evolving without losing your mission. We’re preparing to launch a U7 developmental division and exploring involvement with TOPSoccer to widen access even further. Growth like that only works if it’s in service of the same mission we started with in 1990, otherwise it’s just change for its own sake. Every new entry point we build is really about long term sustainability, giving kids a place to start young and giving the adults around them, the coaches and referees, more room to grow alongside them.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

“Family comes first, and your mental and physical health should always be a priority.” Over the years, I’ve learned that work is important, but it can wait. Time with family and friends is something you can never get back, so I’ve always tried to be present in those moments and appreciate the people who matter most. This mindset has also shaped the way I work with others. Whether I’m working with member clubs, customers, or colleagues, I believe in being honest, treating people with respect, and valuing relationships beyond just transactions. I try to understand their goals, help them succeed, and genuinely appreciate the trust they place in me. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that we can always learn from one another. Everyone has a unique perspective and experience to share. When we approach relationships with humility, honesty, and a willingness to help, we not only make each other more successful, but we also become better people ourselves.

How can our readers further follow your work?

You can follow United Soccer Association’s season updates, club news, and programs like our coaching education initiatives and the girls college and pro ID camp through our website and social channels, @unitedsaofficial.

Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!

Thank you!

About The Interviewer: Tavares Beverly ( www.tavaresbeverly.com ) is the Founder and CEO of Beverly Boy Productions, a national video production company that has helped organizations tell their stories through video for more than two decades. Over the course of his career, he has worked with everyone from Fortune 500 executives and healthcare professionals to politicians, nonprofit leaders, educators, and artists, gaining a unique perspective on the role communication plays in leadership, business, and human connection. A frequent contributor on topics including communication, entrepreneurship, leadership, and personal development, Tavares believes that the ability to communicate effectively is one of the most valuable skills a person can develop. His work is driven by a passion for helping organizations connect with their audiences and helping individuals unlock their potential through mentorship, perseverance, and meaningful relationships. To learn more, connect with Tavares on LinkedIn or visit www.BeverlyBoy.com . If you’re interested in using the power of storytelling and communication to grow your organization, strengthen your brand, or inspire your audience, he welcomes the opportunity to connect.

View the Original article: https://medium.com/authority-magazine/kai-velmer-of-united-soccer-association-on-five-things-you-need-to-be-a-highly-effective-leader-8ddac89c33e7